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Intrusive thoughts

  05/02/2023 This week has been hella difficult! For many reasons and the main reason being that I mentally am not coping with my life now. I’m constantly bombarded by the fear of my thoughts and the fact that they are not good enough, that I am not good enough and that I am manifesting all this bullshit! Manifestation and intrusive thoughts are a match made in hell ! Yesterday I was shouting at my cupboard and cursing it for being too small, small here is an understatement - the cupboard was built with hobbit’s in mind. I have one tiny cupboard above my tiny kitchen workspace area, there is no room to prepare food and there is nowhere to store it! The intrusive thoughts are intensifying with my depressive state. My worst fears are sucking me dry of any joy. Think about your worst fear or something that absolutely disgusts you, now imagine that thought constantly poking and prodding you until you feel like screaming out loud for it to fuck off! Fun, right? I remember watchi...
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Guided Meditations

  So, I have been practicing the ‘You are the placebo’ meditation now for over a week. To be honest I was not completely sure of it when I first started, if anything it felt a little spooky. Then I came across an article that confirmed I was not alone in my feelings. Whilst I really admire the work of Dr Joe Dispenza there is something about the audios and presentations that leave me feeling a tad suspicious or a tad uneasy. I could be wrong; it could just be my own innate suspiciousness or my brains reluctancy to change – although now I just see that I am labelling myself and no good will come of that! I do not want to criticise as that is unfair to a man that has clearly done so much good for his community, but I still cannot deny that gut feeling I have that something is not right. So, I did what I always do in times of deep questioning – I consulted the tarot. First, I prayed to my angels and then I called upon my ancestors to guide me in their wisdom. I directed my question to...
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